Pregnancy, when you’re growing life inside of you and it’s this beautiful, magic time of your life. Or it’s not, and the ‘pregnancy glow’ you have is actually just sweat and you now come with your own sound effects when you move (grunt, grunt, moan).
Sometimes it’s both of these things, sometimes it’s both within the same hour. The wonders of pregnancy..
It’s difficult to explain what pregnancy is like to anyone who hasn’t been through it. Even still, each pregnancy is different so comparing is kind of futile.
But there are some things I want my husband to know about being pregnant. Things that I have trouble explaining sometimes and things that he may not even realise and things I wish I could have explained better during my pregnancies.
1 – Pregnancy Is Freaking Hard
Without even including my stint of Hyperemesis Gravidarum (which cleared up at around 16 weeks, thankfully) pregnancy is freaking hard. There are so many changes that are going on that I had no control over.
I had to drink a ton of water every day but I also pee every 2 minutes, which meant frequent stops in the car when we were travelling anywhere and lots of disturbances through the night.
Getting comfortable in bed was difficult, I wanted to sleep on my belly but that couldn’t happen and then I wanted to sleep on my back but we are told we aren’t supposed to do that either (due to the potential for compression of the inferior vena cava).
I wanted to eat everything all at once because I was so darn hungry but I felt like eating nothing at the same time.
I had aches and pains, and a whole bunch of headaches. The baby was moving and I felt like I was being ninja punched from the inside.
I even went to walk through a doorway sideways the one day and forgot to account for the extra space required – hitting my tummy. It hurt.
Sitting up to eat was an issue because I couldn’t get comfortable so I was constantly having to lean back a little – which is great for my hips and back… not.
That’s barely even scratching the surface.
And then I felt this immense love and it all just becomes this ball of guilt and confusion. Fun!
2 – I Can’t Control My Cravings
Yes, I’m serious when I say all I want to eat for dinner is breakfast cereal with ice cold milk. Yes, I know it’s not a great option, especially considering I’m lactose intolerant. Yes, I know I’m probably going to follow it up with more milk and most likely some form of chocolate.
But no, I can’t help it.
And no, I don’t want a salad instead.
I wish I could control my cravings. Heck, I wish I could predict my cravings so I didn’t have to go to the grocery store 10 times in one day (just kidding, I’m going to ask you to go for me…). It’s not possible.
But I really do appreciate your attempt at ‘pre-empting’ my cravings by buying a whole heap of random food items. And yes, I would like some popcorn and a croissant, thanks.
3 – When You Talk About Our Daughter My Heart Feels Like It’s Going To Explode
I have literally never loved you more than I do right now.
And as cliche as it sounds, I really do love you more and more every single day. When you talk about our daughter and refer to her by name I can see the little spark of excitement in your eyes.
When you sit and talk with me, wondering if she will have blue eyes or green, wondering if she will have my pale skin or your olive tone, wondering if she will be as stubborn as me or as introverted as you… it makes my heart fill with joy. I catch my breath and just look at you, amazed that you and I are in this together.
We created her – that little tiny human who is practising her ninja kicks on me right now. We created her. And she is perfect.
4 – I Don’t Want You To ‘Fix’ Everything
Okay, I know I whinge a lot. And I know it seems all I do is complain. But I don’t actually want you to ‘fix’ anything. I don’t want solutions, I want sympathy. Woman logic right? It works differently to guy logic.
While I truly appreciate the extra pillows you offer me when I’m uncomfortable in bed, what I really want is for you to cuddle me, tell me how much you love me and say ‘gosh pregnancy really sucks sometimes doesn’t it?’.
Because it sucks sooooo much sometimes. And I want you to acknowledge that so I don’t’ feel so darn guilty every time I think it.
5 – I Struggle With All Kinds Of Body Image Issue Right Now
During my pregnancy, I weigh the most I have ever weighed in my life. And this isn’t my first pregnancy. That is a difficult thing for me to deal with. There is no way logic fixes this issue either.
Yes, I know I’m supposed to put on weight during pregnancy, I know most of that weight is from the baby/placenta/fluid etc, but it’s still difficult to see those numbers creep up on the scale.
Add into the mix the fact that my muscles have only just recovered (at least a little) from the degeneration that happens with hyperemesis and being unable to move for so long without throwing up, and that exercise has been almost impossible because of it, meaning I not only feel larger than ever, but I don’t feel as strong either.
My body is changing and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve always been relatively healthy and active, and now I can’t control the extra fluid in my feet or the extra fat stores around my thighs. Body image issues are a real struggle for a lot of women during pregnancy.
Again, I know it’s all supposed to happen, but I just want you to know it’s a struggle some days. And I love how you tell me every single day how beautiful you think I am and how amazing you think my body looks right now. It honestly does help.
6 – It Wasn’t Me, It Was The Baby
As I’ve mentioned, my body is changing a lot right now and I don’t have as much control over things anymore.
Any weird noise, bad smell or anything that is unseemly didn’t come from me, it was the baby.
Let’s just leave it at that.
7 – I Love It When You Put Your Hands On My Belly And Talk To Our Little Girl
There’s no denying it, I’m just not one of those women who do pregnancy well. I know there are women who love pregnancy and it’s this wonderful time for them and gosh I am so jealous. I wish that was me. But it’s not. I’m counting down the days until our little girl arrives and I am excited about being in labour.
But right now, the thing that makes it all seem magical and the thing that lights me up from the inside is when you put your hands on my belly and talk to our little girl.
Oh my gosh, the love I feel for the two of you in that moment is indescribable.
I know she is going to be Daddy’s little girl, it couldn’t be any other way. You already talk to her like she is the most magical thing on earth and the way you talk to her about me is amazing. It’s the same as how you talk about me to our son – with so much love, respect and adoration.
So, my love, while I know things are tough at the moment, and I know I whinge a lot, and I know pregnancy isn’t’ easy for me which means it isn’t easy for you, I couldn’t have imagined a better man to have by my side.
This post first appeared on Project Hot Mess and our little girl has since made her way safely earthside.