There’s no denying it… sometimes motherhood is just straight up hard. And regardless of how positive, happy and upbeat you are, regardless of how much you love your kids (we all do), how organised you are or how many happy photos you take – some days it’s just HARD.
And you know what? That’s okay.
You aren’t alone Mama, this I promise you.
The real struggle, I’ve noticed, is getting to a place where you feel like it’s okay to say that it’s hard. I remember the first time I ever said something on social media about having a hard time and the first response I got back was that I should be grateful that I can be a mother at all.
Let’s get this straight right here and right now: admitting motherhood is hard is not saying you’re not grateful. You don’t have to love something all the time just to be grateful you have it.
All this does is create an environment where women are too scared to speak up about their struggles for fear of being put down by others. And in my world, that’s just not okay at all (and it’s not okay in our Facebook Group either – if you haven’t joined yet you definitely should!!).
So, we know motherhood is hard sometimes, we know that this doesn’t mean we aren’t grateful for motherhood – BUT, how on earth do we get through these hard days? How do we cope when motherhood is hard?
One of my favourite ways to help me refocus myself is to use affirmations. I don’t only use these when I’m having a rough day, but I often pick one each day just to focus on, something to bring my mind back to and re-centre myself.
What Are Affirmations?
Affirmations are short words or phrases you can use to reframe your mind, to help you focus on a particular thought process, and are powerful neurolinguistic programming tools that help us tap into the power of our mind.
Affirmations don’t necessarily have to be positive, they can be a simple statement that helps you refocus, but they shouldn’t have negative connotations.
For example: ‘I go through my day with ease’ is somewhat positive without being overtly so and is far more powerful than ‘I don’t struggle through my day’.
The reason for this is because our brain will pick up on the words we use and the associations with them. Words like ‘don’t’ and ‘struggle’ aren’t words we want to bring into focus, whereas ‘ease’ is a word that we want our brain to hone in on.
It might sound a little strange at first, but once you get into the practice, you’ll see how different you day can be by simply switching out the negative words for positive ones.
Affirmations For When Motherhood Is Hard
To get you started we have compiled a list of our favourite affirmations for when motherhood is hard. You can write these out, put them on sticky notes on your mirror, repeat them over and over, or you can even grab a printed or digital pack of these cards that are beautifully designed (I carry a printed card with me in my handbag and use the digital ones as screensavers on my phone).
Some of these will speak to you more than others, and they might even inspire you to create affirmations of your own that are specific to your life.
1 – I Won’t Be Sleep Deprived Forever
I’m pretty sure I chanted this one to myself over and over again when I had a newborn (and let’s face it, for at least a whole year after she was born). I had it as the screensaver on my phone so when I’d grab my phone of a morning, it was right there as a reminder.
When you’re in those newborn days and right in the thick of sleep deprivation, it can feel like the days go on and on. I promise, it won’t last forever, so be sure to remind yourself too.
2 – I Trust The Parenting Instincts Ingrained Within Me
I feel like over the years we have stopped listening to our parenting instincts and have started looking outwards for answers. We Google why our child isn’t sleeping, or how to settle our baby, when all we really need to do (most of the time) is just listen to ourselves.
When our baby is crying, it triggers let down and it makes us want to go and pick them up. And guess what? That’s exactly what will settle them! There are too many ‘rules’ and expectations that are just clouding our ability to trust our parenting instincts.
Use this affirmation to remind yourself that you are able to trust those instincts and do what is right for your baby.
3 – I Cannot Meet Everyone’s Needs And That’s Okay
You know the feeling… when you have all the plates spinning and you’re running in every direction and you know that something is going to drop soon. It’s not possible to be everything for everyone and that’s okay.
Use this affirmation when you’re feeling overwhelmed and need to be reminded that you don’t need to be all the things for all the people.
4 – I Care For Myself So I Can Care For Others
Following on from the previous affirmation, this one is the perfect reminder that in order to look after others and look after our families, we must first take care of ourselves.
Self care isn’t a dirty word, it’s not a buzzword that is fashionable or insta-worthy, it’s a very real need that must be met. You can’t pour from an empty cup so look after yourself Mama and everything will feel much easier.
5 – Motherhood Is Part Of Me, Not All Of Me
Some days it is easy to feel lost in it all. To feel like you have lost who you are, who you were before you had kids. You don’t feel like you anymore outside of ‘mother’ or ‘wife’. It can feel suffocating.
But Mama, you are still you, motherhood is part of you, not all of you. And that is important! Be sure to take time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes here and there (but even better if you can schedule some time for you) and take time to connect with what it is that makes YOU happy.
6 – My Confidence As A Mother Grows Every Day
Remember the days when you had your first newborn and you were terrified of breaking them, or doing the wrong thing, or messing up this motherhood gig somehow? Some of those feelings carry on as our children get older, but at the same time, our confidence grows too.
We realise both our children and ourselves are more resilient than we first thought, we find our grove and when we manage to do grocery shopping without waking the baby we feel like bloody superheroes (just me?).
If you’re feeling like it’s all falling down around you, think back to how far you’ve come and remind yourself that your confidence as a mother grows every single day.
7 – I Don’t Need To Get It Right All Of The Time
A very wise child psychologist told us that you only need to get it right about 30% of the time to be ‘successful’ as a parent. Let that sink in.
You don’t have to bake the most Pinterest worthy birthday cake, you don’t have to have Instagrammable lunches or purée all your own food or be perfect every moment of every day.
I’ve realised that most of the time, if you just stop, hug your children, tell them you love them, and make yourself a hot coffee (or tea or whatever you drink) then most other things are figureoutable.
Be sure to bookmark this page if you want to come back to it and keep a copy of these affirmations somewhere so when motherhood is hard, or when you just need a little affirmation to get you through, you have these.